He felt a momentary pang of regret that he had not spent more time with his beloved wife. But it passed when… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Cyrus Pembridge, the Never Land’s captain, was widely regarded as the most incompetent man to comman a ship since the formation of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. "Hey, YOU!" are the sea's exact… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but very few barracuda can read. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
During bomb drills, we students were told to crouch under our desks. Apparently the desks used in classrooms in the fifties were… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Millions of Americans own dogs, because they are good-natured, simple, and easily amused. I am referring here to the Americans. The dogs… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
