Redneck Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy · Page 3

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

— Jeff Foxworthy

I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

— Jeff Foxworthy

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is…

— Jeff Foxworthy

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

— Jeff Foxworthy