Redneck Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy · Page 3

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

— Jeff Foxworthy

Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be…

— Jeff Foxworthy

How is a redneck divorce similar to a tornado? You know that somewhere, somehow, someone is gonna lose a trailer.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or…

— Jeff Foxworthy

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud…

— Jeff Foxworthy