Redneck Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy · Page 2

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the…

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your child's first words are 'Attention K-Mart shoppers!'

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your home has more miles on it than your car.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

— Jeff Foxworthy