I really try to think cinematically, because that's how people read. They create a theater in their minds. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This (French-Kissing) is a really sexy thing to do, according to the French people, although you should bear in mind that they… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Today's toys contain computer chips, so they can move and talk; this stimulates the mind of your child. Notice I say "your… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I am a world-class weenie when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
SAT tests are designed by huge panels of experts in education and psychology who work for years to design tests in which… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
