What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The question nowadays is not what makes government work. The question is how do we make it stop. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When a thing defies physical law, there's usually politics involved. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Once you've built the big machinery of political power, remember you won't always be the one to run it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Is Bill Clinton so good at politics, or are other politicians so bad? — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It is a law of governance that democracies have to spend themselves dizzy. Citizens of democracies can, after all, tell their government… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Government does not cause affluence. Citizens of totalitarian countries have plenty of government and nothing of anything else. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A politician who commends himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The budget doesn't have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn't have much control over the budget. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Our earliest evidence of government, in the ruins of Babylon and Egypt, shows nothing but ziggurats and pyramids of wasted taxpayer money,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Our democracy, our culture, our whole way of life is a spectacular triumph of the blah. Why not have a political convention… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Bureaucrats want bigger bureaus. Special interests are interested in whatever's special to them. These two groups bring great pressure to bear upon… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When a government controls both the economic power of individuals and the coercive power of the state ... this violates a fundamental… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Money is preferable to politics. It is the difference between being free to be anybody you want and to vote for anybody… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Libertarianism is a way of measuring how the government and other kinds of systems respect the individual. At the core of libertarianism… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If we're free to do what we want, why does government always have a plan for us? — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You can't get something for nothing. Everybody remembers this except politicians. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
War expands government powers. The trouble is that, when the war goes away, the government powers do not. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The political process consists entirely of politicians talking out of their butts. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.' — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Government conspiracy? They can't even deliver our mail and it's got our address on it and everything! — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's nothing more oily and cynical in politics than telling the truth. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
