Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be awesome. The team from Mexico could wear those Mr. X masks. The French wrestler could hit his opponent… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
