The three auto companies in the United States, they're all scrambling to come up with a plan, some way to reinvent themselves.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In Montana, a math teacher is running for the Senate. Win or lose, she plans on demanding a recount because math is… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Analysts say Obama's new immigration plan will focus on deporting violent criminals. So, this could impact your fantasy football team. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In Iraq, four American soldiers have been arrested and charged with stealing a million dollars cash. After hearing about it the Fox… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Republican Congressman Duncan Hunter has filed papers to run for president. But in his official filing, he misspelled the word 'president.' Political… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Breast feeding activists plan to descend on Washington for a public breast feeding demonstration. Also descending on Washington, thousands of men saying,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama says he will not support a healthcare plan where the government gets to decide whether to, quote, 'pull the plug… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump refuses to give details about his policy plans. Trump apologized by saying, 'When I announced I was running for president,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump is going to make an announcement about running for President on the season finale of Celebrity Apprentice. Not to be… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
On Election Day, Ralph Nader will appear on the presidential ballot in only 45 states. Yeah, Nader said, this is really disappointing,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In a new interview, Secretary of State Colin Powell repeated that the U.S. has no plans to attack Syria or Iran. After… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
