There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's nothing inherently lame about electricity. I've got a basement full of power tools that all operate with electricity, and they're manly… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We're gonna be in a world of hurt if we don't get it fixed, because there's going to be billions of people… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Whenever people tell you they are going to wipe the slate clean, it's your slate they mean to wipe. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
From National Lampoon, you go directly to Saturday Night Live, because it's a lot of the same people. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to collectivists, to people who believe that wealth is best obtained by redistribution, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Conservatives really don't believe in politics as the primary instrument of getting along in life and therefore don't tend to put their… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People say free trade causes dislocation. In actual fact, it's the lowering of trade barriers that causes the dislocation. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've been a New Yorker for ten years, and the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've never been able to get it straight about what these people who are worried about the trade deficit are worried about.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. They are, literally, selfless. A world designed… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People have a right to my food, a right to my housing, and a right to my good job for my decent… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In Japan people drive on the left. In China people drive on the right. In Vietnam it doesn't matter. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The idea of a world where all people are alike - in wealth or in anything else - is a fantasy for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The real slums are another matter. The bad parts of Tondo are as bad as any place I've seen, ancient, filthy houses… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
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