Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People are very narcissistic. It's not all their fault. We live in a society where there is a magazine for you, a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It's very well known that the Republicans have problems with minorities. The Democrats have big problems with white people. Obama only got… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I mean, maybe one day we will live in a more optimum world where terrorists come in every color of the rainbow.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Why is Mitt Romney not bragging: 'I covered all these people'? Why can't the Democrats sell the idea, we're trying to make… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The American people don't really care what side of an issue you're on. They just don't want you to act like a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I do miss George Bush. Compared to these teabaggers and the people who are pandering to them, he looks like a professor. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What is with this campy fixation on all things Ronald Reagan? They talk about him the way gay people talk about Barbra… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The House okayed the gasoline tax cut, which will increase the deficit, line the pockets of the oil companies, and hurt the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: President Bush must stop acting like WE'RE the idiots. He gives speech after speech, and the theme is always the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to thank some very special people without whom I would not be here today. George Bush, Sarah Palin and the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
On the show, I do a very serious thing. And a lot of people have a hard time reconciling that with what… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
...what I love about Ann Coulter is that she's sort of the-she's sort of a version of myself in that she absolutely… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you're a person of great faith. You have to pledge… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If the Hamas people had the opportunity, they would kill the maximum number of Israelis, which would be all. And, Israel has… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans have pounced. They're outraged. They say, 'How dare you lie about caring for the people who got hurt in the war… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies and ancient books full of primitive morality and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The people who got everything wrong are back on TV talking about the place they got all wrong? Cheney, Bill Kristol, Paul… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
All across the Middle East in the streets, people are demanding democracy. It's amazing. The only way in America you get people… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rick Santorum beat Mitt Romney in three states on Tuesday. Got a huge amount of fundraising. That's the good news for Rick… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The NYPD must stop acting like the only thing black people do is run from them and shoot at them. Believe it… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Bush the younger has two things going for him that his father never had. One: an easy charm with regular people and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There's no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It's just a shame that… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You can behead people, you can crucify them, you can cut their hearts out and eat them on YouTube...but, don't screw with… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To those people who say, 'My father is alive because of animal experimentation,' I say, 'Yeah, well, good for you. This dog… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Nobody in America who wants pot has any trouble getting it, so maybe that's why we aren't seeing support for legalization. People… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to see riots! I want to see the kind of riots where cab drivers are afraid to pick up white… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or more people in a week, which, I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I didn't really think a lot about religion, but I didn't really think a lot against it, either. I was one of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.' — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans are obsessed with abortion...if they really wanted to protect the weakest, most helpless people, wouldn't they protect the Democrats? — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
