I was out at the HBO party, these are liberals, I imagine, and a lot of people came up to me and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There's a new iPad out...People are going nuts for this thing...And, today, Mitt Romney said, 'It's a flat piece of white plastic.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't think all life is precious. I know people say that all the time, "Life is precious." I think some life… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
That's what American democracy has come down to at these town hall meetings: old people and gun nuts, which is a terrible… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we're someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Only cowards push a button from thousands of miles away, or tens of thousands of feet up, to kill people who can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People on the right say to people like me, Oh, you hate America. And I always say, No, I love America. I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When I hear from people that religion doesn't hurt anything, I say really? Well besides wars, the crusades, the inquisitions, 9-11, ethnic… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The worst years of my life were the first two years I was doing standup. You're learning how to do, and you're… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I said something recently about how the president [Barak Obama] should stop trying to placate the crazies and the right wing and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!...I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
And he said that 47%-that's pretty high-47% of Americans are basically welfare bums who are mooching off the government. And then he… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I find it ironic that Republicans have such disdain for the lazy, and yet their solution to every problem is do nothing.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Many people can't deal with unanswered questions, which religion exploits by providing answers, even if they are just made up by someone.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They're DEFINITELY GAY!! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'm more likely to not invite someone back for not talking. If someone talks a lot, I can usually shut them up… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to always be an interloper. I never want to feel like I'm a guy who is embraced by the people… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When it comes to religion, we're not two sides of the same coin, and you don't get to put your unreason up… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't believe in a lot of things from the Bronze Age, but an eye for an eye does make a sort… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Reverend Ted Haggard's followers still think he's not gay. I'm not kidding. In their world, there are no gay people. There are… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The people [in the USA] are not very well informed. They certainly don't know history. They certainly are not interested in foreign… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I always say people would rather be nice than right. I like to be nice too, but come on. People frequently ask… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Barack Obama is the President of the United States, a politician in America, a very religious country, so I understand why he… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People say to me all the time, "I get my news from your show." And that isn't the way they should get… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Founding Fathers were more deists. If you had to categorize them as anything. There was some sort of moving prime force.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think the right-wingers have to buddy up to the fact that either the minimum wage has to go up, and people… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Osama bin Laden put out a new video. The timing of this video has some people upset, three days before we vote.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Religions are maintained by people. People who can't get laid, because sex is the first great earthly pleasure. But if you can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'm definitely good. I'm not bad; I'm extremely honest, and I allow no bullshit to pass by my radar. And that will… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If nobody is clear on what you're protesting, it's not a protest. Thousands of people gathered in London this week to voice… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
![“I said something recently about how the president [Barak Obama] should stop trying to placate the crazies and the right wing and the Republicans and stand up for the 70 percent of Americans who are not insane and stand up for the people who actually voted for you. That hit a real nerve.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/22c/bill-maher-211_barak-obama_i-said-something-recently-about-how-the_400241.jpg)
![“I don't believe in a lot of things from the Bronze Age, but an eye for an eye does make a sort of symmetrical sense to me. I really believe that if somebody takes a life, that [death penalty] is what they should get. I also think it's a lot more humane than keeping people in a cage for the rest of…” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/ac0/bill-maher-211_age_i-don-t-believe-in-a-lot-of-things-from_2555270.jpg)
![“The people [in the USA] are not very well informed. They certainly don't know history. They certainly are not interested in foreign affairs very much, unless it comes right to their doorstep. They all learn history through wars. They learn geography through wars.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/fb2/bill-maher-211_affair_the-people-in-the-usa-are-not-very-well_2551709.jpg)
![“The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America would just blunder around the Middle East killing people without all the facts. That doesn't sound like the America I know.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a1c/bill-maher-211_america_the-libyan-rebels-this-week-kind-of-hint_1095970.jpg)
