When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or more people in a week, which, I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People are very narcissistic. It's not all their fault. We live in a society where there is a magazine for you, a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You can't pray away global warming, and that's the difference between religious people and sane people. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I always say people would rather be nice than right. I like to be nice too, but come on. People frequently ask… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What mostly prevents black people from voting is that drug laws send them to prison, and then they can't vote. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In Washington, the air quality today was described as 'red.'...You know what 'red' is? It's bad for everyone. Not just old people,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I find it ironic that Republicans have such disdain for the lazy, and yet their solution to every problem is do nothing.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
White people have always shown their superiority over blacks with their feet, moving out of black neighborhoods with the fear that their… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Reverend Ted Haggard's followers still think he's not gay. I'm not kidding. In their world, there are no gay people. There are… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People say to me all the time, "I get my news from your show." And that isn't the way they should get… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People on the right say to people like me, Oh, you hate America. And I always say, No, I love America. I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'm not defending what Cory Booker said. I'm saying I understand why he has to kiss the asses of the rich people… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Every time somebody says 'Islamophobia' it gives the people who are intimidating cover. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'm more likely to not invite someone back for not talking. If someone talks a lot, I can usually shut them up… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If nobody is clear on what you're protesting, it's not a protest. Thousands of people gathered in London this week to voice… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I get the Playboy thing a lot. People assume I go out with bimbos. I couldn`t go out with bimbos if I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Bush the younger has two things going for him that his father never had. One: an easy charm with regular people and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I mean, maybe one day we will live in a more optimum world where terrorists come in every color of the rainbow.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
