I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. Happy was into grass and grass alone. Happy, that's all he did. Sleepy… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible man ¦ Living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Cigarette companies market heavily to young people. They need young customers because their product kills the older ones. It is the only… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't think drugs are a problem; I think they're a symptom. As long as Americans are empty, spiritually, emotionally, morally empty,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The fact that I didn't finish school left me with a lifelong need to prove that I'm smart, prove it to myself,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesn't… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Political discourse has been reduced to "Where's the beef?" "Read my lips," and "Make my day." Where are the assassins when we… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm not an angry person, just very disappointed and contemptuous of my fellow humans' choices - and on stage those feelings sometimes… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion - religion, at best - at BEST - is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it for a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“The fact that I didn't finish school left me with a lifelong need to prove that I'm smart, prove it to myself, maybe to the world. I [also] needed to be - not the center of attention - but I needed to be able to attract attention when I wanted it, through my stunts and my fooling around physically…” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/eba/george-carlin-155_able_the-fact-that-i-didn-t-finish-school-lef_1584523.jpg)
