My son's always showing me pictures of dinosaurs and asking me what their names are. I dont know so I make stuff… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The new Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, is now Pope Francis the 1st. Francis was not his first choice for a name.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
It was on this day that the Bahamas declared independence. Before that they were a British colony. The British Empire lost Canada… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Saudia Arabia takes in half a trillion dollars every year in oil revenue, and the country has a population smaller than New… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I'm glad the PC police haven't made us… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Mark Zuckerberg was named Time's Person of the Year. I'm sorry if you don't recognize the name. A magazine is something people… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
