Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Government usually doesn't work. It doesn't work because it is political. People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Ann Coulter to me is someone who says things that I say all the time, but I say them at three in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The morning meal was served in traditional socialist fashion - very slowly, with the courses out of order so that the jelly… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now. You've probably never… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that when the official U.S. measure of poverty was developed in 1963, a poor American family had an income twenty-nine times greater than the average per capita income in the rest of the world. An individual American… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else available. Western civilization not only provides a bit of life, a pinch of liberty and the occasional pursuance of happiness, it's also the only thing that's ever tried to. Our civilization is the first in history… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
