Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less child beating, but more slipped disks from lifting babies out of cribs. Even the father of advanced age… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
If you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet, you will get cah-azy pussy. All the pussy. I don't mean literally. That might not be your… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
When I was 17, I read a profile of Carol Leifer. Since then, I wanted to be her. I still want to be her. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
My growing up years, we watched 'Happy Days,' every night. I don't know what was reruns and what was new. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
People can't help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who's inferring - and what the contexts of their lives are at… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
In your twenties, I think you should have all of the sex that you're inclined to have, as long as you're safe about it.… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me.… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
It fills me with a weird rage to wear shoes that make me not able to walk easily or run if I had to.… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“If you’ve ever heard that song by Beyoncé, “Single Ladies,” I am one of the people she’s singing about. I have to be, because… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
If I were somebody else looking at my character, I'd be like, "She's beautiful." I'm practicing. I'm not succeeding. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
