I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the same. I… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I wonder who really is the change candidate? It can't be both of them [Hillary Clinton & Barak Obama]. What would be… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I'm a bit down. Liza Minelli and David Gest, I don't know how it didn't work out. How can a man who… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Ralph Nader choose the man with whom to share the responsibility of running a distant third, California activist Peter Camejo. You may… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It's funny. When we were alive we spent much of our time staring up at the cosmos and wondering what was out… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Nobody says, hey men should not drink. It's all about women must dress differently, women must walk differently, women must drink differently.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Democrats do have a historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Gay people can't be proud of the country and want to defend it too. What's the army afraid is going to happen… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
All in all it's a pretty great day for major league sports. At long last they've decided that gay people are fit… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Models talk to you for six minutes and they're very nice and they say thank you and then it's off to the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Apparently the only thing worse than a terrorist attack, is a gay man stopping it! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
![“I wonder who really is the change candidate? It can't be both of them [Hillary Clinton & Barak Obama]. What would be a black man and a woman - how could that be different than the 43 other Presidents we've had?” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/b6c/jon-stewart-455_barak-obama_i-wonder-who-really-is-the-change-candid_1071861.jpg)
