I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me -… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Canada, as you know, is a major important nation boasting a sophisticated, cosmopolitan culture that was tragically destroyed last week by beavers. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The other major kind of computer is the "Apple," which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama New-Age computer you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently situated right… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
On behalf of the newspaper industry I wish to announce some changes we're making to serve you better. When I say 'serve… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
But from the perspective of the aging parent, there is no major difference between four and fifteen, except that when your child… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison Edison's first major invention, in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soon… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
At certain times each year, we journalists do almost nothing except apply for the Pulitzers and several dozen other major prizes. During… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I am absolutely sick unto death of hearing people say - they all say this; it must be Item One on the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Just get on any major highway, and eventually it will dead-end in a Disney parking area large enough to have its own… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
One of the major hobbies in South Florida is keeping animals that no sane person would want to keep. One of those… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
One night in Tokyo we watched two Japanese businessmen saying good-night to each other after what had clearly been a long night… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You can use the Internet to find out, from anywhere on the planet: exactly how much coffee is in a certain coffee… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
