“What is it about money that makes people kill for it? I’ll have to think about that next time I do it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We should kill the future, so the present has no choice but to retreat into the past.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If we make it out of this alive, I’ll kill you. So you have that to look forward to.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d kill for any one of my friends. Thankfully for the overpopulated prison system, I don’t have any friends.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you’re thinking about killing someone, don’t. Not don’t kill them, but don’t think about it—just do it already.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a list of people to kill. All but number 33 are my clones. Who’s number 33? Why you are, of course.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We had some good fun together, didn’t we? That’s why I’m sorry to say I’m going to have to kill you.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to quell the rebellion. Wait until all the men are asleep before you kill them, rape them,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If somebody wanted me dead, I’d try to convince them to wait 25 years, for technology to arrive, so they can go… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He’ll think I’ll do it, he’ll act like I’ll do it, and so I will do it. But if he will think… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
