There was a time when "sound as a dollar" was a description, not a joke. — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
I read the newspaper every day just to see if there's anyone I know in the obituaries or the underwear ads. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You do not respond to an attempt on your life with a slap on the hand. Or a joke. — Cinda Williams Chima Copy Share Image
What smells of wee and goes in and out:a old person doing the hockey cockey — Paul Housbey Copy Share Image
I never wrote a joke in my life. I just get on stage and let it flow. — Eddie Griffin Copy Share Image
All of Creation’s a farce. Man was born as a joke. In his head his reason is buffeted Like wind-blown smoke. Life… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness. — Gwyneth Paltrow Copy Share Image
Would like to join me? (Astrid) I think I’d look strange in a bikini. (Zarek) Was that a joke? Can it be… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
Many gamblers think they're being singled out by fate as a target for cruel jokes. They feel they alone in all the… — Mike Caro Copy Share Image
I do wear wigs. ... I sometimes make the joke about me standing on a hilltop with my hair blowing in the… — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
It's interesting to have the awkward moments play out, and the real human interactions. The more you cut that down, you lose… — Nicholas Stoller Copy Share Image
I guess the subject of race is so natural to me I never think of it as hefty. It's something I talk… — Danzy Senna Copy Share Image
Half of the time I don't know what they're talking about; their jokes seem to relate to a past that everyone but… — Jean Webster Copy Share Image
Yesterday I decided it would be funny to cut in to a box of Christmas crackers and take out all the original… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
I just think everyone knows you go on those [political satire] shows if you're a politician to, "humanize yourself" - to show,… — Harry Shearer Copy Share Image
I was taken to an examining room where a big butch nurse practitioner came in and asked me if I was pregnant.… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I dont talk about it too much in the press is because… — Matthew Perry Copy Share Image
A man assumes that a woman's refusal is just part of a game. Or, at any rate, a lot of men assume… — Erica Jong Copy Share Image
I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy,… — Bernie Mac Copy Share Image
I planted some jokes in my wedding. Like, the organizers asked me to select music. So when I approached wife at the… — Slavoj Žižek Copy Share Image
Oh, and Cammie," At the sounds of his voice, I spun around, expecting to hear him crack a joke or call me… — Ally Carter Copy Share Image
![“[When] you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiness.” quote by Gwyneth Paltrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/2ba/gwyneth-paltrow-1230_dying_when-you-re-dying-laughing-because-your_945697.jpg)
![“I just think everyone knows you go on those [political satire] shows if you're a politician to, "humanize yourself" - to show, "Hey, I can take a joke." Well, why should satire be in the service of humanizing these people who are supposed to be the target of our venom and vitriol? I think that's…” quote by Harry Shearer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/714/harry-shearer-7595_goes-on_i-just-think-everyone-knows-you-go-on-th_1397845.jpg)
