As you can tell from watching the show, I'm not a strong joke writer per se. — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someones mouth while they are talking? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If ugliness was measured in bricks, you would be the great wall of China. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am getting sick and tired of people making jokes about Justin Bieber. Leave her alone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can't just explain a joke. Either it isn't funny, or the person just totally missed the punchline. — Cass McCombs Copy Share Image
You only get one chance at life, not two! Don't joke around with your own life. — Dohee Copy Share Image
I do get text messages from people with sick jokes on when something terrible has happened. I don't read them; they make… — Harry Redknapp Copy Share Image
The reason most comedies don't win awards is that the filmmakers put the comedy first. This means you have to create a… — Paul Feig Copy Share Image
“seal. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A… — Various Copy Share Image
For telling a good and incisive religious joke, you should be praised. For telling a bad one, you should be ridiculed and… — Rowan Atkinson Copy Share Image
Guys will definitely settle for women who get the joke. But a woman who can make you laugh? It's not high on… — Hank Azaria Copy Share Image
What's fascinating about doing comedy about the referendum is, because it is the first time, it is the most extraordinary atmosphere. You… — Rory Bremner Copy Share Image
I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
When you hire directors, you're most concerned about whether or not someone from the outside will get the jokes. — Adam F. Goldberg Copy Share Image
“Ok, this farmer is driving down the road in his truck and he comes to a state cop in the middle of… — Robert Wintner Copy Share Image
I was joking earlier when I said that all writers are manic depressives, but it's a joke with a lot of truth… — T.C. Boyle Copy Share Image
His brothers could tease him about his height or the number of scars he was collecting on his body. He could take… — Shannon Hale Copy Share Image
I get a great laugh from artists who ridicule the critics as parasites and artists manqués — sucha horrible joke. I can’t… — Manny Farber Copy Share Image
Tonally, there was no discussion; I just don’t know any other way to do it. I don’t want to make people feel… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you just heard 90 percent of dentists recommend something, it's too statistical. Nine out of 10 says: Well, it's just virtually… — Frank Luntz Copy Share Image
“If you are having private thoughts and ask an intimate friend to listen to them in privacy or on a date will… — Ana Claudia Antunes Copy Share Image
