I was the youngest of six kids, so yeah, feeding myself was important, but it's not like I was obsessed with food… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I do kind of aspire to do comedy that appeals to a wide range of audiences and doesn't divide people. I never… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The amount of guilt you deal with as a parent is pretty profound. It's a constant balancing act. I'm an ambitious person,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I don't understand the fashion industry and the appeal of it. I understand that there are some people who think it's important… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think it's important to control your opportunities, because in the entertainment world, it's not up to you. I'm not sitting here… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I was the youngest of the six kids, and to make my older siblings laugh, that was very important. I did a… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is -… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you can work… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think growing up in Indiana prepares anyone for a life in comedy. I do feel like there is a certain kind of self-effacing… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“The song goes, “Morning has broken,” and I’m pretty sure my children broke it. Like everything else they break, if they did break it,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“If you complain about how you spend your Saturdays taking your kid to birthday parties, that means you are taking your kid to birthday… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
