Yesterday I decided it would be funny to cut in to a box of Christmas crackers and take out all the original cracker jokes inside them and replace them with my own really rude, racist and nasty ones. You can… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
This summer time in England has been like a dreaded one-night stand... Not very hot, extremely wet and gone before you know it. — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
Facebook should have some kind of limit on the number of times that people can change their relationship statuses. After five or six, it… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
One day I'd love to hire a space shuttle fly in to space and hover above the earths atmosphere. Just so I can get… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
It is a human necessity no matter how bad life gets or dinghy a place can be to find the beauty inside of it.… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
Follow your heart and listen to your instincts because we all have them for a reason. — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
I tantalise, you tease, you take I please. My body, you bind, my hands, entwined. I kneel, you stand I listen, you command. Im… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
I haven't had sex in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin. — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
Yesterday I decided it would be funny to cut in to a box of Christmas crackers and take out all the original cracker jokes… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
