We're going to do a challenge. I'm going to try and download every movie ever made and you are going to try… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Comedy is the only form of entertainment where the audience doesn't know what to expect. In an evening, you might get ten… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
[When you have kids] you become much more - there are two things that happen. You recognize how fragile individuals are, and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
This is what happens when you don't let gays marry; they start designing clothes out of spite. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Here's the thing about global warming that I didn't realize: it would all happen at once. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Gay people can't be proud of the country and want to defend it too. What's the army afraid is going to happen… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The thing that [the Senate and the House] don't realize is that everyone wants them to come from beyond that contradiction so… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
We all know what happens to celebrities when their time is up - rehab and then a stint on VH1. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The frustration of our [The Daily] show is- very much outside any parameters of the media or the government. We don't have… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
![“[When you have kids] you become much more - there are two things that happen. You recognize how fragile individuals are, and you recognize the strength of the general overall group, but you don't care anymore. You're just fighting for the one thing. See and then, you also recognize that everybody…” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/014/jon-stewart-455_care_when-you-have-kids-you-become-much-more_1651788.jpg)
![“The thing that [the Senate and the House] don't realize is that everyone wants them to come from beyond that contradiction so that we can all fix it. Nobody is saying, "We don't have a problem." Nobody is saying that, "9/11 didn't happen." What they're saying is, "We're not a fragile country…” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/aaf/jon-stewart-455_can-do_the-thing-that-the-senate-and-the-house_2683994.jpg)
![“The frustration of our [The Daily] show is- very much outside any parameters of the media or the government. We don't have access to these people, we don't have access. We don't go to dinners we don't have cocktail parties. We don't you know, you've seen what happens when one of us ends up at the…” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/2cc/jon-stewart-455_access_the-frustration-of-our-the-daily-show-is_3100466.jpg)
