Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Apparently the only thing worse than a terrorist attack, is a gay man stopping it! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
This is what happens when you don't let gays marry; they start designing clothes out of spite. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claims there are no homosexuals in Iran, just like there are no gay conservatives in the US. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Gay people can't be proud of the country and want to defend it too. What's the army afraid is going to happen… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I have the liberal dictionary right here...let's see how they define water-boarding: 'Something done by the evil troops, who we don't support,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Bush proposed a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Some saw the move as an attempt to preserve traditional values, while others… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I'll tell you this: Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have, for religion -we… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I remember having a grade-school teacher I thought was a hard-ass. When you're that age, you think the guy is Himmler. Then… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think you are looking at sexuality and not attributes, and I think it's odd because the conservative mantra is a meritocracy.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
All in all it's a pretty great day for major league sports. At long last they've decided that gay people are fit… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
