New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: I don't give two fingleberries and a McShit-all that Dumbledore is gay. I never wanted to know who Dumbledore was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When the tabloids photograph me when I'm out, I always say: "You know what, folks? I'm not married and I'm not gay.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I'm not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they're anti-illegal alien, they have… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Well, the American public always wanted to vote for a guy and Bush was the perfect guy who they'd want… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In New York now, they have Harvey Milk High School for gay students. They don't have much of a football team, but… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A Republican Congressman, Rep. Chris Lee, was caught flirting with a woman trolling for dates on Craigslist and sent her a shirtless… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They're DEFINITELY GAY!! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think girls hate each other, no doesn't always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Ronald Reagan was an anti-government, union-busting, race baiting, anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-intellectual, who cut rich people's taxes in half, had a incurable case… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Reverend Ted Haggard's followers still think he's not gay. I'm not kidding. In their world, there are no gay people. There are… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead … Mitt Romney had to respond… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What is with this campy fixation on all things Ronald Reagan? They talk about him the way gay people talk about Barbra… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out against gay marriage. He said marriage is a sacred union between a groupie and any number of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security - hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!...I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
