Gardening Quotes by Jarod Kintz

“I planted a plant in the midst of spies, who were disguised as farmers.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I hid a flower in a garden. I also hid a body there.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I did a face plant. Ivy was her name.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Plant trees. It’s a way to improve the future from the ground up.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I’m thinking about becoming a farmer and a fisherman—a hunter of swimming plants.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Love smells like a flower in bloom. A flower that's sitting on a pile of steaming feces.”

— Jarod Kintz

“If you strip away my flowery language, you’ll figure out I’m really talking about bees.”

— Jarod Kintz

“The most dangerous flower is one that grows on a grave. Everybody in its vicinity is dead. That’s why I hand-picked it…

— Jarod Kintz

“Is there anything more pathetic than a flower that doesn’t get enough sunlight and dies, because it couldn’t get out of bed…

— Jarod Kintz

“Flowers and fear are a lot alike. For one, flowers and fear have a distinct smell, and two, I’m currently trying to…

— Jarod Kintz

“A flower blooms in my heart. You may call that love, but I call it water conservation.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I think a funny picture would have a caption that read, “Believe in yourself,” with an accompanying image of a wilting flower.”

— Jarod Kintz

“In Bougainville, the only flower that grows is the Bougainvillea. In Gainesville, the only thing that ever gets lost are gains. In…

— Jarod Kintz

I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me F*** you. Then Ill go back to that person and…

— Jarod Kintz

“If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.”

— Jarod Kintz