Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 25

God made everything that has life. And the rest is made in China.

— Kcee Cunanan

A guy tells you he loves you. The man shows you he does.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

— Anonymous

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!

— Anonymous

Sexy singles near you, but they are not interested.

— Nikhil Saluja

School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hey that's not fair! - A dumb bitch realizing she got bad directions to the fair.

— Nikhil Saluja

Barack Obama bowled a 37. Is he black enough for you now?

— Nikhil Saluja

My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So I turned on the subtitles.

— Anonymous

LOVE, A situation which happens when you think almost as much of another as you do of yourself;

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman say:WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY. Woman means:I'm not going to stay over until I find out if this guy at the gym…

— Nikhil Saluja

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance. Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair. Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage. Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy.

— Anonymous

A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer…

— Danish

Why did Susan fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

— Deezy Da Dreadhead

I talks broken English , writes grammatically wrong English . Who cares ? I'm proud to be Malaysian since forever !

— TheTowraMowra

That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off.

— Anonymous

A boy will manipulate your heart. The man explores it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Fat people cry on purpose so they can taste their tears.

— Anonymous

If money grew on trees,Girls would date monkey!!!

— Punkinhead Abhishek

There is nothing like love in this world unless you experience it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hope you're feeling okay after being sexually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.

— Anonymous

If she doesn't know who Biggie Smalls is, she's to young for you bro!!

— CJ

FART THEN WAIT TILL SOMEBODY ELSE SMELL IT THEN BLAME THEM…AND YOU KNOW YOU DID IT..

— Renneec

When life gives you lemons, take a shot of tequila

— Anonymous

I would love to start working out, but I'm putting on weight for my before picture.

— Anonymous

300 likes 200 comments, what's missing? Her clothes lol

— Armin Ferizovic

In Africa, Temple Run is not just a game, its a life style.

— Kalle Amadou

It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.

— Nikhil Saluja

They should make a reality TV show called, 'Jersey Shore meets Shark Week.'

— Anonymous

What a beautiful day to walk around my city, staring at my phone.

— Nikhil Saluja

If your girlfriend was a video game she would be rated E for everyone..

— Mitchell Sakundiak

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it

— Hussein Nishah

I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

— Nikhil Saluja

Cellphones are like a dog's nipples. You don't have to shout into them!

— Nikhil Saluja

Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy!

— Nikhil Saluja

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.

— Anonymous

Say this out loud five times fast! 'I won a math debate.'

— Anonymous

Just be yourself is great advice to maybe 12% of people.

— Nikhil Saluja

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people

— Hussein Nishah

A nonsense chat makes sense when you are talking with someone special,

— Nikhil Saluja