Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 23

That awkward moment when your voice cracks right when you start talking to your crush..

— King Dennie

HUSBAND, TRADITIONAL, A man who expects his wife to help him with the dishes

— Nikhil Saluja

It's hard for me to say I love you because the word you isn't beer or sex or football.

— Nikhil Saluja

So you hate Facebook? Thanks for sharing that with me...on Facebook.

— Anonymous

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up

— Hussein Nishah

In their last moments, people show you who they really are

— Nikhil Saluja

Sex without Condoms is Magicalà_A baby appears &&àThe Father Disappears.

— Camille Cassie Govender

He most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is Salary is Credited

— Hussein Nishah

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have…

— Anonymous

A man post a status onto his wall, ''tonight I'm gonna sleep in terrace'' 55 mosquitos likes

— Anonymous

Facebook event invites from people you barely know should really have a 'seriously?' option in the reply.

— Anonymous

If you can't be the reason behind her smile, at least be the reason she walks funny for a while!

— Nikhil Saluja

I love how face book shows when a message is seen now ain't no one gonna lie about it. Guilty as Charge

— Solene Gemtessa

A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.

— Anonymous

The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.

— Anonymous

Your the type of person who walks up while I'm cutting grass and ask what I'm doing? Bitch I'm cutting grass ...

— Lonniedagreat

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up.

— Anonymous

Three Things to Love.. Purity, Honesty and Hard work.

— Nikhil Saluja

I notice everything, sometimes I just don't say anything.

— Nikhil Saluja

Winning isn't everything. Getting blowjobs from women are.

— Nikhil Saluja

Love dictates, but a kiss writes the secrets of the heart.

— Nikhil Saluja

Fake is the new trend and some of my friends seem to be in style!

— Wwwfacebookcom/talentedpersonal

Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?

— Anonymous

If I'm what I eat, then why isn't me saying meow?

— Nikhil Saluja

If you cant find the key to success, pick the lock.

— Harriet Morgan

You're so much better than A-Rod at concealing your drug use on the job.

— Anonymous

Girls work on their looks but not their minds bcoz they know boys are stupid, not blind

— Hussein Nishah

Weird. I Like being that because normal is just to plain for me.

— CJ

Facebook showed me that I ' m not alone freak in dis world :P

— Anonymous

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's funny how everyday seems the same, yet when you look back a lot has changed.

— Nikhil Saluja

Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!

— Nikhil Saluja

Yes, I know my body is the temple of God but I just like to add some decorations to it.

— Sarahi Gonzalez

Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.

— Anonymous

You should really consider creating two Facebook accounts, one for each face.

— Anonymous

I hate it when I'm singing a song and someone joins in! Please, this isn't Glee!

— Anonymous

Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you're not a pussy.

— Nikhil Saluja

The Worst Pain In Life Is When Someone You Know Turns Into Someone You Knew..

— Anonymous

I've learned that no matter how much I care,some people are just assholes.

— Nikhil Saluja