Funny facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 28

Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown?

— Nikhil Saluja

If you say you're in a bad place, and everything is coming your way, then chances are you're a woman, and you're…

— Nikhil Saluja

A girl gives you a massage. The woman gives you a happy ending.

— Nikhil Saluja

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The last and most serious of the childhood diseases;

— Nikhil Saluja

Actual warning printed on the bottom of a package of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert : Do not turn upside down.

— Nikhil Saluja

What's the WiFi password here? is the new Finally I decided to visit you

— Nikhil Saluja

Oh, you're an actor??? Why don't you act like a waiter and get me another beer.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery.

— Nikhil Saluja

Frankness is uttered, but rudeness is heard.

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just learned today that bacteria is not the back door of a cafeteria.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've never killed an unfollower but I should definitely take a shot at it.

— Nikhil Saluja

If a girl takes the time to straighten her hair and you don't fall in love with her you're an asshole.

— Nikhil Saluja

Mosquito: The only insect that makes you prefer flies.

— Nikhil Saluja

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

— Nikhil Saluja

I showed my therapist some of my tweets and now she's seeing a therapist.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I want to sit on my right hand so it feels like someone else is stopping me from masturbating.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, SMART, A man who is on listening terms with his wife

— Nikhil Saluja

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

— Nikhil Saluja

Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.

— Nikhil Saluja

Men...we spend nine months trying to get out of a vagina, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in.

— Nikhil Saluja