Who will be the happiest person? The one who brings happiness to others. — Swami Satchidananda Copy Share Image
I watched 'The Neighbors' when it first came on, and I thought it was hysterical. And every time I think something just… — Rhea Perlman Copy Share Image
May the inherent stress and peril of unfolding a beach chair not sabotage your plans to relax this summer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
Don't be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Laurel and Hardy are among my strongest influences, and I think they're perfect examples of two naive, kid-like characters that are still… — Stephen Hillenburg Copy Share Image
Basketball has been my life and I worked at it so hard because I enjoyed it so much. — Larry Bird Copy Share Image
The only B word you should call a female is beautiful... Trust me the bitches love that! — Marcus Ybarra Copy Share Image
I do keep getting these bad girl roles. The funny thing is that, honestly, I don't think I'm believable as these aristocratic… — Katie McGrath Copy Share Image
“Is a joke truly funny when we laugh at it, or is it merely some aberration of our frontal lobe?” — Gerald Schroeder Copy Share Image
Dad, sorry the cute things I did as a kid couldn't be shamelessly exploited on YouTube or a reality show... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
WIFE, A lady who is much like an angler -- each think the best one got away; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more. — James Brown Copy Share Image
He is no clown that drives the plow, but he that doth clownish things. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
Two mentally disturbed men decided they must go to school. They collected old books and went to sit under the tree pretending… — Newlove Copy Share Image
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me.… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I had a funny last name, and I didn't look like everybody else, and I got faced with a lot of racism. — Sam Esmail Copy Share Image
First of all, I find everything funny, which is upsetting to my children sometimes, and to people in my life, in general. — Jenji Kohan Copy Share Image
“Thank you.” A bright blush stained her cheeks. “For last night. For chasing the monsters away…” “Anytime. It’s kind of my job… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“St. Clair gets a crush on Anna. He's torn between her and Ellie, and he spends so much time running between them… — Stephanie Perkins Copy Share Image
In 2006 or something, I was recording the voices for this short, 'The Real Animated Adventures of Doc and Mharti.' I was… — Justin Roiland Copy Share Image
If you prayed as much as you worry, you'd have nothing to worry about. — Rick Warren Copy Share Image
Number one way life would be different if dogs ran the world: All motorists must drive with head out window. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I'd been involved with stand-up before improv, so I already thought highly of myself as being a funny person. I never thought… — Matt Besser Copy Share Image
Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
