Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking I'm gonna ki..-ahhh. Damn, she's under… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
The difference between being anonymous and being fake is similar to between hiding the truth and telling a lie — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
If 2012 was a person, I'd sue him for pain and suffering and lost wages. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I am not feeling lazy actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I hope my New Year's Resolution to only say nice things about people isn't misinterpreted as a vow of silence. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Whenever someone says, ''It's getting hot in here'' I automatically think, ''So take off all your clothes — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Today I went on Google.com & searched ninjas. The computer told me Ninjas cannot be found. Well played, ninjas, well played — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe...call in sick tomorrow. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I dont understand how Super Mario can smash blocks with his head but dies when he touches a turtle — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Im the person that the more you complain about me, the harder Ill try to annoy you — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Bitch also stands for beautiful, intelligent, talented and charming human being — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphones. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
If I were a bathroom tile salesman, my pitch would be 'Think of how great this will look in the background of… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Some people come into your life to make you fall in love with songs you had no idea existed — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Treating your lovers like royalty all the time can lead them to treat you like a peasant. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when the titanic sunk because the look out guys were watching rose and jack makeout. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Be thankful for stupid people, they make it easier for the rest of us to get ahead in life. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
People should just mind their own business, probably the funniest thing I've ever read on a social networking site. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I may be old enough to know better, but I am STILL young enough to DO IT — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Diet rule 1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I'm not single. I'm in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others are talking — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
A girl called me once and said come over, nobody is home! I went there and she was right, nobody was home — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Females always say, you can't turn a hoe into a house wife, but steady be trying to turn a dog into a faithful man… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
If in the middle of an argument I suddenly fall silent it does not mean you have won... No it means you should probably… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
People might say your not normal but if you ask me normal isnt that much fun. being yourself and being abnormal is Awesome, dont… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
My ex texted me saying, You can delete my number, I don't give a damn no more. I texted back saying, Who's this? — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Dear you have always been doing well; if you will keep on going you will meet your destination. Good luck to you — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Has learned that sometimes it is just easier to agree with someone, than to argue a stupid point they think they have. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
If you can't see yourself marrying the person your with, why are you with them? — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
You tell me you love me, but Im not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
