Funny Quotes by Hussein Nishah · Page 4

Treating your lovers like royalty all the time can lead them to treat you like a peasant.

— Hussein Nishah

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back

— Hussein Nishah

Some people come into your life to make you fall in love with songs you had no idea existed

— Hussein Nishah

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning

— Hussein Nishah

If I were a bathroom tile salesman, my pitch would be 'Think of how great this will look in the background of…

— Hussein Nishah

I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something

— Hussein Nishah

Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking I'm gonna ki..-ahhh. Damn, she's under…

— Hussein Nishah

1 universe, 8 planets, 204 countries, 804 islands, 7 seas, 7 billion people and my heart still tells me it's you.

— Hussein Nishah

That awkward moment when you Save a file and then realizing you have no idea where you just saved it.

— Hussein Nishah

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all

— Hussein Nishah

Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do…

— Hussein Nishah

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light

— Hussein Nishah

Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes

— Hussein Nishah

Whenever someone says, ''It's getting hot in here'' I automatically think, ''So take off all your clothes

— Hussein Nishah

I am not feeling lazy actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing

— Hussein Nishah

I hope my New Year's Resolution to only say nice things about people isn't misinterpreted as a vow of silence.

— Hussein Nishah

The difference between being anonymous and being fake is similar to between hiding the truth and telling a lie

— Hussein Nishah

If 2012 was a person, I'd sue him for pain and suffering and lost wages.

— Hussein Nishah

What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine

— Hussein Nishah

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police…

— Hussein Nishah

I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is

— Hussein Nishah

I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan.Somebody is going to be wrong.

— Hussein Nishah

Single dudes, if you're in the bar/clubs and you're reading this you're are not getting laid tonight.

— Hussein Nishah

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved…

— Hussein Nishah

Newtons law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with…

— Hussein Nishah

When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV

— Hussein Nishah

Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I cant make it today, as I have a doctors appointment

— Hussein Nishah

The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.

— Hussein Nishah

Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.

— Hussein Nishah

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another…

— Hussein Nishah

By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn't believe me.

— Hussein Nishah

Laughter is the best medicine, but if you laugh for no reason than you need medicine

— Hussein Nishah

I always thought by 2013 we would have flying cars. Instead, we have blankets with sleeves.

— Hussein Nishah

I watched a black and white TV for so long, so when I got a color TV I picked the red one

— Hussein Nishah

If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs.

— Hussein Nishah

You cant put a price tag on love. But if you could, Id wait for it to go on sale.

— Hussein Nishah

At the zoo, all the animals have a decent composure, except for the monkeys. You get the feeling man is very close…

— Hussein Nishah

Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X

— Hussein Nishah

Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

— Hussein Nishah

My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are

— Hussein Nishah