I will forgive, but I won't forget.. I hope you know, you've lost my respect. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
No babies on this plane. I don't want to be the one crying & puking for the entire duration of the flight… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
To whoever stole my Microsoft Office: You're gonna pay. You have my Word! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I'm thinking about growing a beard so I have something cool to do with my hands when I think. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone says: 'Expect the unexpected.' Slap their face and say: 'You didn't expect that, did you?' — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Whenever someone asks me, How you doing? I say, Everything was fine till I had to stop and respond to your small… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Men watching porn is like women watching the Food Network: they are both watching things they are never gonna do! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I was very drunk last night and I took a bus home. It may not sound like a big thing to you… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If he won't make you his official girl... it's probably because you're not his only girl. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My granddaughter wanted a Cinderella theme party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Two women were talking. When I was young, I used to laugh when my mother crossed her legs when she had to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I bet in Africa they play commercials of American stripper girls starving for their father's attention. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
People make the world go around but at some point dont you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you see someone coming your way after you've just farted. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You're in a relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh, to make memories. not to constantly be upset, hurting and crying.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
On the Internet, you can choose to be whoever you want. I don't understand why so many people choose to be stupid… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
No I dont drink alcohol. Why put something in my body that's so potent it can convince a girl to sleep with… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
According to the laws of probability, I have seen my neighbor's wife in panties. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Get to know someone before judging them. It's much easier to judge once you have more information. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
