You know you've had enough coffee when you can thread a sewing machine ...while it's running! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women are like computers -- even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If you don't like me, it's not my fault.. it just means you have no taste! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Average women believe they need a man to feel wanted & loved. Real women are very desired, have self-love, & do just… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
No matter how nice you try to be someone will cast you to play the cunt in their life story. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Caring for someone is easy but to make someone care for you is difficult¦ So never lose the one who really cares… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The secret of our marriage is chemistry. She's on Valium and I'm on Prozac — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Every woman deserves a man who respects her and every man deserves a woman who appreciates his efforts. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've read that women love to have whipped cream licked off their breasts, but since my girlfriend has silicone implants, I use… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Apparently kicking my friend in the chest & yelling THIS IS SPARTA! is not an appropriate response to what do you feel… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My Wife & me are either going to buy a dog or have a child. Actually we can't decide whether to ruin… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Hate when I get drunk at a bar and hot chicks waste the opportunity to take sexual advantage of me. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Whenever I see a couple holding hands from far away I sprint & imagine it being the finish line of a 100… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My wife is angry with me and she is giving me the Silent Treatment. I don't know what I did, but I… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I have enough money to Live comfortably for the rest of my life...........If I die next Tuesday. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Wish there was a pill I could put in a girl's drink, that would make her do my taxes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I typed married but it was auto-corrected to martyred. Damn,smartphone has gained intelligence. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
