Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 61

You know whats funny? Not you, so shut up.

— Anonymous

Dil ka dard dil torrne waley kiya jaaney, Pyar ke rivajon ko zamana kiya jaaney, Hoti hai kitni takleef larrki ko pataney…

— Anonymous

The awkward moment when you put something in a safe place so you don't lose it and then forget where that safe…

— Anonymous

I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she staresat you.

— Anonymous

You don't know how attached you are to a person, until you go without talking to them for a bit:)

— Anonymous

Unfortunately we have tried to establish Right by Might, and you just can't do that

— Anonymous

If mini skirts today get any shorter... women will have two more lips to paint, two more cheeks to powder, and a…

— Anonymous

Question: wats your fav memory?? Answer: Thats hard! But probably my best friends b-dayparty because the kid I was like absolutly in…

— Anonymous

All those tears I cried over you were enough to make a pool, I hope you damn drown in that pool

— Anonymous

When I said I'd hit that I meant with my car.

— Anonymous

When I was a kid I used to pretend wafer sticks were cigarettes... I was just that badass

— Anonymous

Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over.

— Anonymous

May your Halloween be scarier than what's actually going on with our country.

— Anonymous

Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don't worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.

— Anonymous

If you don't feel it, you'll never get it.

— Anonymous

Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?

— Anonymous

The reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is that we may listen the more and talk the less.

— Anonymous

Mom, thanks for not being famous enough to adopt a black baby instead of having me.

— Anonymous

Happy Mother's Day to someone who expects to be treated like a queen on this and every other day.

— Anonymous

Ghetto language. Bathroom = Baafrumm. Refrigerator = Fridgerataa. Remote control = Moken troll.

— Anonymous

I hate when a guy looks at me and I cant tell if hes thinking I'm cute or if hes thinking, 'How…

— Anonymous

Yes Im a bum. But Im a Harvard bum. 'With Honors'

— Anonymous

I'll never take my mom's car out again until I can do it legally.

— Anonymous

I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends…

— Anonymous

Nothing vast enters the life of mortals without a curse.

— Anonymous

I hope my complaints about the weather have made the weather seem comparatively less annoying.

— Anonymous

Hahaha that's what I thought of

— Anonymous

My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way?

— Anonymous

We all have that one person thatwe'd take back in a second, regardless of how much they hurt us in the past.

— Anonymous

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

— Anonymous

WORST MOMENT EVER: Watching a good show and then BAM. A sad, abusive animal commercial comes on. :c

— Anonymous

Halloween is for dressing as something you're not. That's why most girls go as sexy.

— Anonymous

What Happened to Eminem? I LOVE Him! But did he like just drop off the face of the world? You Never Hear…

— Anonymous

From the moment our eyes first met, I knew I'd spend the rest of my life...trying to avoid you!

— Anonymous

It was nice growing up with someone like you - someone to lean on, someone to count on... someone to tell on!

— Anonymous

Few things are more disappointing than a hot new coworker who is wearing a wedding ring.

— Anonymous

I ain't sayin she's a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke white guy who's afraid to finish the rest…

— Anonymous

**new student,** automatic though, he better be hot.

— Anonymous

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

— Anonymous

You took my daughters virginity! I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again.

— Anonymous