Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 106

I hate Monday because Monday hates me.

— Anonymous

What will you create that will make the world more awesome?

— Anonymous

I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.

— Anonymous

S.E.X ? No thanks, My life F.U.C.K me Everyday.

— Anonymous

Yes officer, I did see the 'Speed limit' sign...I just didn't see you.

— Anonymous

Cripple jokes are so mean, I can't stand them!

— Anonymous

Smiling at someone who hates you just to piss them off even more

— Anonymous

You know you're best friends when you're in the bathroom arguing over who gets the big stall.

— Anonymous

Yoga pants should have a weight limit.

— Anonymous

Life tip: When nothing goes right go to sleep..

— Anonymous

Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious.

— Anonymous

If you believe that guns are the cause of murders and other crimes, then pencils must be responsible for misspelled words.

— Anonymous

I wish we had something better to do at our crappy jobs than check our disappearing 401(k)s which ensures we'll be stuck…

— Anonymous

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

— Anonymous

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta..

— Anonymous

If you want something expensive, you should ask your grandparents.

— Anonymous

Teachers call it Go to the bathroom. We call it I'm bored,I'm gonna go wander around school.

— Anonymous

I don't suffer from insanity, I enoy every minute of it.

— Anonymous

10 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop and Facbeook? When I was 10, I felt cool with my new markers. :

— Anonymous

We're all going to really miss doing your work for you.

— Anonymous

Treat me like a joke, watch me leave you like its funny

— Anonymous

Does Anyone Wanna Be in my Harry Styles Love Story Called BE lieve In YOUrself

— Anonymous

Moving on is like a bitter vegetable, it doesn't taste good, but it's good for you.

— Anonymous

Farewell is for hippies, if you're gonna leave then you say goodbye.

— Anonymous

When someone say's I like your shirt.. I look down to see what I'm wearing.

— Anonymous

When someone calls you & asksWho is this? ... Like bitch, you called me! who are YOU?

— Anonymous

School is pointless! English? We speak it. History? They're dead, get over it. Math? We have calculators. Spanish? We have Dora.

— Anonymous

I'm playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can't get out of my bed or I'll…

— Anonymous

I've put more thought into my Halloween costume than into my career...

— Anonymous

Instead of b*tching about me in your status, just tag me in it next time.

— Anonymous

Any one who has seen a church mouse then he must know that poverty is well known. Thanks a lot for your…

— Anonymous

Selena:Who says you're not perfect? Miley:Nobodys Perfect! Pink: Youre F**king Perfect... Im confused, Am I perfect or not?

— Anonymous

Let's celebrate our country's birthday with a lavish display of fireworks we can't afford because of our country's disastrous economy.

— Anonymous

U have to be smart to get it... hahaha

— Anonymous

I dont hate you. I just hope your next period happens in a shark tank.

— Anonymous

At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog he's adopted?

— Anonymous

Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I've been doing since 15.

— Anonymous

Money can't buy happiness, but it's a lot more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when someone says something super funny and you react 2 minutes later

— Anonymous