Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 108

Its not officially summer until you fuck up your sleeping schedule.

— Anonymous

Something about ur face attracts my fist :)

— Anonymous

Nothing Steve Jobs ever created could fully replace you in my life.

— Anonymous

I did it on my bed.. I did it on the couch.. I did it in the car... Texting is such an…

— Anonymous

My bestfriend and i

— Anonymous

If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...

— Anonymous

Friday is my 2nd favourite F word.

— Anonymous

Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, shes not coming back.

— Anonymous

You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.

— Anonymous

Its so obvious when people are texting in class, because no one just looks down at there crotch a smiles.

— Anonymous

Harry S. Truman was broke and out of work at the age of 38. At the age of 45 he was the…

— Anonymous

I'll watch any TV show where they buy, remodel, or cook a house, meal, or person.

— Anonymous

Running like a gorilla up the stairs, because it's easier that way.

— Anonymous

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,…

— Anonymous

If you text me and then within the next 3 minutes send me ???, you will not get a reply.

— Anonymous

It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.

— Anonymous

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

— Anonymous

Hey, remember when you had acrush on... STFU! >:0

— Anonymous

We all hate waiting anxiously for a text, then realizing you forgot to click SEND.

— Anonymous

Oh, it's snowing outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows. i hate that

— Anonymous

Men are like...Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

— Anonymous

I can't wait to spend Monday doing nothing on a beach instead of doing nothing at work.

— Anonymous

The awkward moment when you pretend die infront of your pet and they dont move.

— Anonymous

This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms and throwing the rest away.

— Anonymous

Sarcasm is a bodies natural defense against stupid.

— Anonymous

He broke my heart, so I broke his nose!

— Anonymous

My days are backwards. I wake up tired and go to bed wide awake.

— Anonymous

Q: What's your opinion on long distance relationships? A: Honestly, I know a lot of the time they don't really work out…

— Anonymous

My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.

— Anonymous

I knew my mother had it in for me from a young age. My bath toys were an electric toaster and hair-dryer.

— Anonymous

I think car horns should sound like gun shots....I bet you'll move then.

— Anonymous

Tip for losing weight: Turn your head left, then turn right. Repeat every time you are asked to eat....lol

— Anonymous

When you fall head over heels in love, you must land on your head and become stupid in love because you never…

— Anonymous

Seeing beach residents refuse to evacuate makes me feel better about the array of terrible decisions I've made this year.

— Anonymous

When a friend asks, do you have a bathroom? Me, no we shit in the yard!!!

— Anonymous

I should get a college art credit for the masterpieces I have drawn on my passed out roommates.

— Anonymous

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so near to Monday?

— Anonymous

Happy Bastille Day to someone still stuck in a monarchy.

— Anonymous

Once you hit forty you start adding letters I'm 39A this year

— Anonymous

Eating nutella. omfg, the best thing ever made!

— Anonymous