No matter how old you are... if alittle kid shoots you with a toy gun, you act dead. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
10 Facts About You: 1. You're reading this. 2. You're realizing this is a stupid fact. 4. You didn't notice I skipped… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't let the fact that Obama became president without having a father in his life make you feel unimportant this Father's Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now??? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May you be less of an international embarrassment to America this summer than the cast of Jersey Shore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls are like police. Once they get hold of all the evidences, they still want to hear the truth from you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I see one more female taking a picture with Duck Lips I'm going to punch her and make them permanent. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Volleyball is just a more intense version of 'Don't let the balloon touch the floor.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny how some people are nice to my face. It's hilarious how some people talk crap behind my back. It's comical… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you cant decide if you should cross the street before or after the car goes — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's a slut, but she's been banged more than a snooze button on Monday morning. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That sad moment when you can feel you and your best friend slowly drifting apart. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm starting to think that the gym isn't really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Earlier I received a phone call from a PPI Telemarketer. So I told my 3 year old son that Santa Claus was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sexually frustrated men turn into bitchy divas like that snickers commercial. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can thank your lucky stars that everything I wish for will never come true. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Take comfort this Labor Day in knowing the pressure to have fun this summer is finally over. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Graduation is when your summers of unpaid internships finally earn you a full-time unpaid internship. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Saving a file as jkhsjkfsjjuk because you're too lazy to write a proper title. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry I haven't been on guys, butwe had a big severe storm, and the power has been out since 4 or 5. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Person 1: I can draw really well Person 2: I`m athletic Person 3: I can write really well Person 4: I`m fucking… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
