Comedian Quotes · Page 37

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

— George Carlin

“Glass half full, or glass half empty, what am I? The answer? I'm not the bloody glass, I'm the fucking tap! Meaning,…

— Jimmy Tudeski

I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit…

— Jack Benny

I have done a wide range of characters and getting acknowledged as a comedian is encouraging for me as an actor.

— Biju Menon

Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not…

— Russell Brand

I don't think anyone's particularly conscious of thinking suits are the thing, but when you see a comedian on stage in jeans…

— Jack Dee

I worry about my judgment when anything I believe in or do regularly begins to be accepted by the American public.

— George Carlin

I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations…

— Steve Martin

He was so good at everything he did. You can't call Ronnie Barker a comedian. He was an actor, and a great…

— Bruce Forsyth

I hate when comedians use Performed For The Troops as one of there credits before they go up on stage.

— Felipe Esparza

This is something that the nimblest standup comedians learn, over time, to handle gracefully. They'll go between prepared material, then they'll respond…

— John Hodgman

If you're a musician, you create what you love and hope other people love it as well. Amongst musicians, the starting point…

— John Bishop

Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more…

— Norm MacDonald

If there's anything I like better than honey and ketchup, it's baloney and whipped cream --- and we haven't got any!

— Moe Howard

I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor.

— Kevin Nealon

The mother-in-laws themselves weren't natural jokes but most comedians used to use that.

— Allen Toussaint

Podcasts feature comedians being as funny as they can be in a non-censored situation. It's really akin to standup in a way.…

— Scott Aukerman

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

— Anthony Jeselnik

Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics.…

— Gilbert Gottfried

In my heart, I believe I'm a top flight comedian and a top flight rapper.

— Lil Dicky

Comedy is crowded. There are hundreds of comedians in every place in the world.

— Trevor Noah

It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.

— Wanda Sykes

Every single comedian in Canada is now living in the United States.

— Tucker Carlson

I'm just a comedian. I don't have all the answers. But I'm not just looking for them online. I'm looking around me.

— Bowen Yang

Ask any comedian, tennis player, chef. Timing is everything.

— Meg Rosoff