It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Maybe it's understandable what a history of failures America's foreign policy has been. We are, after all, a country full of people… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Moviemakers are rewarded with tax write-offs if, when seeking a location that looks like America, they seek it in America. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Now for good or ill, California is the place where trends tend to be set in Western civilization - if civilization indeed… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's a love of rhetorical skill in the Muslim world. Osama bin Laden doesn't just go on tape cassettes and say, 'America… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America gives every appearance of being a nation besotted with trashiness - divorce, illegitimacy, casual Fridays. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Liberals want to live downtown. All over America - in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - there are crowds of liberals… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Rich white Protestant men have held on to some measure of power in America almost solely by getting women, blacks, and other… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Each American embassy comes with two permanent features - a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas. Most demonstrators… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. Being a Republican, I'm backing… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
With the war in Iraq, I had the cooperation of the Department of Defense. Kuwait was pretty eager to get American journalists… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The average IQ in America is—and this can be proven mathematically—average. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being 'hegemonistic', of engaging in 'unilateralism', of behaving as… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Americans appreciate bad taste or America wouldn’t look the way America does.” — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The prevalence of mobile homes does not correspond with the prevalence of poverty, or with much of anything else. All that can… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It remains to be seen which program will cause greater societal damage: China's one-child policy or America's one-parent policy. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The America's Cup is like driving your Lamborgini to the Gran Prix track to watch the charter buses race. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
