I started out with nothing...and I still have most of it left. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Walked into the restroom right after Jesus took a dump. All I can say is HOLY SHIT! — Nikhil Saluja Jesus Copy Share Image
Ladies, if a guy sticks his thumb in your ass durning doggystyle, don't get mad, we're just giving you a thumbs up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I'm not having sex I like jacking off, it really cums-in-handy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girls mouth is like a couch, once your dick gets in it, it becomes real fucking cumfy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When life gives me lemons, I'm like What's the catch? Because in this expensive world no one's just giving away free lemons. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
LOVE, A temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't… — Nikhil Saluja Doctor Copy Share Image
5% of all hearing loss is a result of sitting in a restaurant next to a table full of women who just… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If you feel more capable than a woman, think of how much effort it takes you to get laid and remember a… — Nikhil Saluja Feminism Copy Share Image
If mom was here she would be subtweeting all over the place stuff like : who's gonna buy groceries : who's gonna… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I followed you on TWITTER because I'm secretly in love with you and I'm hoping this will help you realize that you… — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
Nothings worse than having diarrhea and having to shit in a wal-mart bathroom, until you sit down and find out there's no… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whoever said there is a solution to every problem wasn't ugly. — Nikhil Saluja Problem Copy Share Image
I like my sex like I like my tweets, Forced and meaningless. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
