“It’s amazing how nostalgia filters out the bad and focuses only on the good.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is the science of reducing your sound while upping the amplitude of another person.” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“The only thing better than being productive, is being reproductive. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to be like air. Invisible, yet everybody needs me in their life.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t want a home, but I do want to buy a lot that I like a lot.” — Jarod Kintz Home Copy Share Image
“Have you ever seen how fast ducks can waddle when chased? If I were to ever run a marathon, I'd model my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Is a wind farm a field full of talking politicians? If so, I wonder what they grow? Probably the national debt.” — Jarod Kintz Climate Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a thick bumper sticker. Then if you get in a crash, you can blame it on… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Hoping to get a head start on the next day, I eat breakfast the night before. That way I can sleep in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is a good thing. Not starving to death is also a good thing. Being in love with a man named Mr.… — Jarod Kintz Death Copy Share Image
“Cats are the best. They don’t need haircuts, and they love to cuddle, unlike certain celebrities who’ve issued restraining orders against me.” — Jarod Kintz Cats Copy Share Image
“If I can delay your action with my inaction, then I’ll gladly do nothing for the good of the no good.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to leave a legacy. I'll leave him in the trunk, tied up, at a parking garage on the campus of… — Jarod Kintz Legacy Copy Share Image
“I am prophetic. I predicted it would snow tomorrow yesterday, and sure enough today it snowed. True, I’ve been saying it will… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Last night I snuck an orchestra into the elevator at my apartment. We made elevator music history until Marvin got his oboe… — Jarod Kintz History Copy Share Image
“I want to make a coffee table that consists of a slab of wood supported by four crutches. That way, if a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I was a little boy, say 17 months old, I lived in the forest. I was raised by bears. We had… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The problem with Marxism is the proletariat isn’t going to rise up against capitalism and consumerism. The only time they’ll rise up… — Jarod Kintz Marxism Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to separate the winners from the losers. With the exception of me, all men are losers, and… — Jarod Kintz Losers Copy Share Image
“Nobody is either honest or dishonest. Life is a gradient, and a saint might be an 8.7, and a dirtbag politician might… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to help you remember. You’re probably tempted to ask, “Remember what?” And that’s precisely my point—you can’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In high school I attended a magnet school—for refrigerators.” — Jarod Kintz Education Copy Share Image
Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world. — Jarod Kintz Difference Copy Share Image
“My knowledge is mine to use as I see fit. But I’m way too out of shape to see fit.” — Jarod Kintz Knowledge Copy Share Image
“I like the way I look, but I don’t like the way my mirror presents me. It’s biased.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t just want to be the best in my field, I also want to be the greenest.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He said he thinks he’s God, and I said, In that case, I’m an atheist.” — Jarod Kintz Atheist Copy Share Image
“I have the heart of a lion, and the circulatory system of a lamb.” — Jarod Kintz Circulatory system Copy Share Image
“A brick could be broken—shattered—and then given as a gift, a jigsaw puzzle. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I always leave the toilet seat up. It’s just easier to wash my hair that way.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I wear my wedding ring I think of her. I also think of my wife.” — Jarod Kintz Marriage Copy Share Image
