Ladies, if you ever find out your husband is cheating, then you should take your fat ass to the gym. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, An investment that pays big dividends if you manage to keep up the interest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife got naked & asked me to show her a good time. So I showed her photos of me & my… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, HAPPY, a spouse who is sometimes so because she has the best husband -- more often it is that she makes… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, one in which a woman gives the best years of her life to the man that made them so; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIED LIFE, is like the pleasure experienced when getting into a warm bath -- after a while it's not so hot — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A sneeze is like a little orgasm. Sometimes it helps to close your eyes and think about your twitter crush. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MOVIE STAR, a Hollywood resident who cannot live in the institution of marriage -- but doesn't mind frequent visits — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's no place like home. Especially when we're talking about The best place to take a shit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who always consults his better half instead of his better judgement; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm like State Farm; when her husband leaves, I bang his wife 'like a good neighbor'. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Last night, my wife asked if I could make a dinner for a change. I'm glad she has such a good sense… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If God Was A Woman… Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My road to success is blocked by a huge rocks obstacle with a big sign that says 'Twitter.com' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who is so timid, he is even afraid to talk back to other people's wives — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A lot of women don't like to give blow jobs. On a related note: A lot of marriages fail. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A man who has one mistake in his existence -- and keeps learning from it all his life; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIED MAN, a person who has learned to turn off the car motor when his wife calls: I'll be right out — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A ceremony favoured in England -- it's the only way to beat their cold winters and lack of central heating; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have learned there is little difference in husbands; you might as well keep the first. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
On wall in ladies room: 'My husband follows me everywhere' Written just below it: 'I do not' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
PRAISE, Something which, if directed to your wife, will lighten your marriage -- even if it frightens her at first. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife fell over from stairs & hit her chin on pavement. She's had to have her jaw wired & can't speak… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You'll have to excuse me if I seem a little full of myself today; my wife called my paycheck cute. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm husband material (Getting fatter, balding, emotionally distant, intermittently angry for no reason — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just killed a spider and there's blood everywhere because the spider was on my wife's face. I'm a murderer, guys. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, A person who sits up with you when you are sick, and puts up with you when you are not; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore... A friend of mine was wearing one yesterday when he got stabbed by the woman's husband. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Porn Rule: When a husband finds that his wife has been cheating on him, he is more turned on than angry. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Something which is called a feast -- unfortunately, sometimes the appetiser is better than the main course; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A surprise party is a great way to show your wife how awesome you are at lying to her face. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In ancient Greece, throwing an apple at a woman was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. This tradition still continues - throw an apple… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have both experienced pain and bought jewelry! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: I liked that wedding even more then ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A very good way to promote civilisation -- if you get a good wife you will be happy, if you get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LUXURIES, Items which, by grand design, always cost more -- for example: a divorce decree costs more than a marriage license — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife said Honey , go get a dozen condoms, I'm horny … I said Great Darlin, I'll be right back …… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Mission Accomplished! A girl is currently nibbling on my penis. I'm going to call my wife and tell her the good news. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
