MARRIAGE, A delightful form of combat where you get to sleep with the enemy; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They named it Twitter because Licking each other dirty asses was too long. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
SEX DRIVE, a physical craving which appears at puberty and ends at marriage — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A legal custom which turns a man into the captive audience of his wife; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, A temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, In Japanese is called Judo -- the art of conquering by yielding. This is the western equivalent of Yes, dear; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, What a man blames things on when he can't figure a way to blame the government; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I promised my wife I would start growing up as soon as she stopped growing sideways. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My Wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, if you ever find out your husband is cheating, then you should take your fat ass to the gym. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're told you only have six months to live, immediately get married. It will make those six months seem like eternity. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, An investment that pays big dividends if you manage to keep up the interest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, That ceremony which makes more strange bedfellows than politics; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Watched a movie with my wife last night, I was on the edge of my seat. Fat bitch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something they say is blind -- it's marriage which is the real eye opener; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't believe it's already ummm yeah whatever month of the whatever year this is! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, one in which a woman gives the best years of her life to the man that made them so; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife got naked & asked me to show her a good time. So I showed her photos of me & my… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, HAPPY, a spouse who is sometimes so because she has the best husband -- more often it is that she makes… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIED LIFE, is like the pleasure experienced when getting into a warm bath -- after a while it's not so hot — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when my wife asks me how my day was, because it's like, doesn't she read my tweets? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If her husband walks in while you're fucking her... ask him to join. You're already fucked anyways... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, WISE, one who makes her husband feel as if he is head of the house when, in reality, he is only… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Leo and she's a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It always saddens me when someone says I'm not funny, then my wife tickles my asshole and I feel better again. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Not sure if you should cheat on your wife with the hot chick from work? Let your dick make the decision for… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he's already met my wife. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, HAPPY, a union which is in full flower when the husband knows what to remember and his wife understands what to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Prefix: What a man does just before his wife calls the plumber. Or electrician, mechanic ... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife said that she was leaving me because I always exaggerate. I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The secrets of a happy marriage...Tools, Internet options, Clear history, Delete files, Delete cookies. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
