“Grahame Coats did not go for walks; he had people to do that for him.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“Hell may have all the best composers, but heaven has all the best choreographers.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“She had a face which was not so much freckled as one big freckle with occasional areas of skin.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
I wanted to write something that would be a comedy in the sense of making people feel happier when they finish it… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“The abbot cleared his throat. "You are all very stupid people," he told them graciously, "and you do not know anything at… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“I think that there should have been some nice wumpires," said my sister, wistfully. "Nice, handsome, misunderstood wumpires." "There were not," said… — neil gaiman Copy Share Image
You must never imagine, that just because something is funny, it is not also dangerous. — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“Been there, Remiel. Done that. Wore the T-Shirt, ate the burger, bought the original cast album, choreographed the legions of the damned… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“Can I help you?" said the footman. Richard had been told to fuck off and die with more warmth and good humor.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“I cross two fingers, a binary precaution against hex, effective as superconductor or simple superstition.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
With pornography, if you don't get hard or wet, depending on your gender, it didn't work. With humour, if you don't laugh… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“And the state of his bathroom -- I'm not one to gossip, but there are things crusted on his sink that have… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“Would you think,” Richard asked, “that I was being picky if I pointed out that trying to find something with an angel… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“I once made up a story as a wedding present for some friends. It was about a couple who were given a… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“She haunted the makeup department until she was bored, then took a look around home furnishings. She wasn't ever going to get… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“Fat Charlie wondered what Rosie’s mother would usually hear in a church. Probably just cries of “Back! Foul beast of Hell!” followed… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“Rubbish!" screamed a fat, elderly woman, in Richard's ear, as he passed her malodorous stall. "Junk!" She continued. "Garbage! Trash! Offal! Debris!… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“Richard had met Jessica in France, on a weekend trip to Paris two years earlier; had in fact discovered her in the… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
You get work however you get work, but keep people keep working in a freelance world (and more and more of todays… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“It was a trick he had found in Perplexing Parlour Illusions, but the instructions were infuriating, unhelpful and vague. Phrases like 'then… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“(...) and now only fragments of conversation would come back every now and again. "Goldie is, like, such a good dog, and… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“I only met Mad Sweeney twice, alive," he said. "The first time I thought he was a world-class jerk with the devil… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
One of the great things about humor is, you can slip things past people with humor, you can use it as a… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“Sable sauntered in to the Burger Lord. It was exactly like every other Burger Lord in America. [But not like every other… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“Nonsense. Hardly touched a drop. That much.” She held out two fingers to show how tiny an amount “that much” was. “Just… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“It was sort of like Macbeth , thought Fat Charlie, an hour later; in fact, if the witches in Macbeth had been… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“I know that David Tennant's Hamlet isn't till July. And lots of people are going to be doing Dr Who in Hamlet… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“In fact, the only things in the flat Crowley devoted any personal attention to were the houseplants. They were huge, and green,… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“You know, one time I saw Tiger down at the water hole: he had the biggest testicles of any animal, and the… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“And now it was three o'clock. The Antichrist had been on Earth for fifteen hours, and one angel and one demon had… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“But that's how it goes; you think you're on top of the world, and suddenly they spring Armageddon on you.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“There is nothing in the whole of creation as beautiful as dinosaurs singing in harmony.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“I'm a mother," said her mother, in her foodless flat where the dust did not dare to settle, "and I know what… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“People talk about books that write themselves, and it's a lie. Books don't write themselves. It takes thought and research and a backache and… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share
“Like all sentient beings, Fat Charlie had a weirdness quotient. For some days the needle had been over in the red, occasionally banging jerkily… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share
“Shadow crawled across the floor to the yellow foam-rubber pad and climbed onto it, pulling the thin blanket over himself, and closed his eyes,… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share
“[T]hey could not help being amused every time another little human believed itself the center of its world, as each of us does.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share
You need more than a beginning if you're going to start a book. If all you have is a beginning, then once you've written… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share
You can tell the date of an old science fiction novel by every word on the page. Nothing dates harder and faster and more… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share
“They were spells, spelled with words to make worlds, waiting for me, in the pages of books.” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share
Finish what you're writing. Whatever you have to do to finish it, finish it. — Neil Gaiman Copy Share
“What," asked Mr Croup, "do you want?" "What," asked the Marquis de Carabas, a little more rhetorically, "does anyone want?" "Dead things," suggested Mr… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share
You get on with your own life. Lettie gave it to you. You just have to grow up and try and be worth it. — Neil Gaiman Copy Share
“Eyes will not see you. Minds will not hold you. Where you are is nothing and nobody” — neil Gaiman Copy Share