Humor Quotes by Natasha Leggero

TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.

— Natasha Leggero

I don't see the point of watching men exercise.

— Natasha Leggero

Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet?

— Natasha Leggero

Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.

— Natasha Leggero

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

— Natasha Leggero

Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.

— Natasha Leggero

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

— Natasha Leggero

Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.

— Natasha Leggero

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

— Natasha Leggero

The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.

— Natasha Leggero

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

— Natasha Leggero

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.

— Natasha Leggero

Comedy is just one of the many professions that women are taking over.

— Natasha Leggero

The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.

— Natasha Leggero

Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That's the new American dream.

— Natasha Leggero

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

— Natasha Leggero

I was very lucky when I started doing comedy because I hadn't seen much stand-up. I just got up on stage and…

— Natasha Leggero

Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be…

— Natasha Leggero

My comedy isn't about being attractive - it's about how the bar of dumb seems so low right now, and I desperately…

— Natasha Leggero

There are some die-hard 'Chelsea Lately' fans, and that's where the majority of my fans come from. Chelsea is really helping make…

— Natasha Leggero

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the…

— Natasha Leggero

Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash,…

— Natasha Leggero

Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you didn't think were…

— Natasha Leggero

I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole…

— Natasha Leggero

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?

— Natasha Leggero

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?

— Natasha Leggero

The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist.

— Natasha Leggero

I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.

— Natasha Leggero

Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.

— Natasha Leggero

I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.

— Natasha Leggero