“You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know,” she mumbled. “You can’t even put your arm around me without tripping… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident.” — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“If you picked up the Life of Frank movie case at Scarecrow Video, the best review on the back would just say,… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“Slow down and explain to us plebeians. If you have to, use sock puppets.” — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“I had no idea what I was paying James, but based on his picnic-assembling skills alone, he needed a raise.” — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“Please stop,” I said politely—he was that big. One should always mind one’s manners around big things.” — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“There’d been some nights when my fat ass had saved my ass (ba-dum-tsh).” — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“Thanks for not talking with your fists,” I said. I have a little sister, and I’m not sure I’d be as understanding… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“Douglas’s fridge was a stainless-steel masterpiece. I’m not that into appliances or anything, but this one was nice and probably cost more… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“There were no windows in my bedroom, so I had to sit up and read my clock to figure out how angry… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“But nowhere in the file had anyone said, “Oh, and by the way, he runs like a gazelle with an espresso addiction.”… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“Even if Douglas was trying to sacrifice me and harvest my creepy powers at the time, I feel like killing people for… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“Aves hasn’t mentioned a boyfriend,” Lock chimed in, “and we’re just dying to hear all about you.” Liar. My friends were filthy… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“And someone, somewhere, was having an even worse time of it than me. I tried to keep that in mind. No matter… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“Essentially, the whole time I’d been here, the security staff hadn’t been paid. I would have been harassing the management too, though… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“There were upsides to the whole mess. While Douglas was holding me hostage, I’d met a girl—I mean, screw dating websites and… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“Twinkle the Destroyer wasn't alone, it seemed. There were more gnomes than I thought. Pip the Bringer of Pain, Chauncey the Devourer… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to Judaism, why… — Lish McBride Copy Share
“You couldn’t really tell people you weren’t out performing your civic duties because you were too busy raising the dead.” — Lish McBride Copy Share
“Even if Douglas was trying to sacrifice me and harvest my creepy powers at the time, I feel like killing people for doing awful… — Lish McBride Copy Share
“And someone, somewhere, was having an even worse time of it than me. I tried to keep that in mind. No matter how crappy… — Lish McBride Copy Share
“Begin at the beginning," I said, "and go on till you come to the end. Then stop.” — Lish McBride Copy Share
“The cats, being cats, ignored her in that complete way only cats seem to be able to manage, and continued to drag her soul… — Lish McBride Copy Share
“I know you're frustrated, Sam, but the reality is you're in a world now where the majority of the people you run into will… — Lish McBride Copy Share
“I had an affinity for pandas. Something about clumsy vegetarians struck a chord with me.” — Lish McBride Copy Share
“Sylvie-trin 5000: He was the Zelda to my Link, but that doesn't mean biker boy couldn't be the Princess Peach to my Mario. I… — Lish McBride Copy Share
“Most people felt lost after high school. Sometimes I felt like I'd never really been found in the first place.” — Lish McBride Copy Share
“You want waffles?” I tried to keep the skepticism from my voice. “No firstborn or a pot of gold?” “I’m not a leprechaun, Sam.… — Lish McBride Copy Share
“Homework, classes, running around, and then—bam—nothing but a life of work stretching out before you. No one prepares you for that feeling or even… — Lish McBride Copy Share
“I stared at the pictogram of a burger nestled between similar representations of shakes, sodas, and fries, on the front of my register. I… — Lish McBride Copy Share
“Arriving on Bainbridge Island is the opposite of arriving in Seattle. When you got in your car and waited to unload off the ferry… — Lish McBride Copy Share
