The mere possibility provides no warrant for denying what I clearly grasp. — William Lane Craig Copy Share Image
When you really really want to slap someone do it...just make sure to say 'mosquito' when you do it — Shubham Joshi Copy Share Image
I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“I know you're saying something profound, but it's hard to focus when your tits are out.” — Christina Lauren Copy Share Image
This morning someone sent me a very funny photo of me holding their puppy. We have matching colour jackets. — Luke Treadaway Copy Share Image
Your graduation is merely the starting point of me watching you get fat and bald on Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Secretary, working in the Dismal Swamp betimes next morning, was informed that a youth waited in the hall who gave the… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Awkward psht, fumble a 6 year olds new toy at the family Christmas party for 15 minutes to get it to work,… — Trim1man Copy Share Image
I am a fan of all genres. My big thing is to serve the purpose of the script and what the director… — Terry Crews Copy Share Image
Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Looking the way I look, whenever anybody's looking for a light brown funny guy, I get the call... I'm 100 percent Greek,… — Jason Mantzoukas Copy Share Image
I am like God and God like me. I am as large as God. He is as small as I. He cannot… — Angelus Silesius Copy Share Image
A couple had twins - a boy & a girl. In their family, it was the tradition of the father's brother to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I never had much interest in the piano until I realized that every time I played, a girl would appear on the… — Duke Ellington Copy Share Image
