Funny Quotes · Page 58

The one thing finished in this hasty world.

— James Russell Lowell

How can I combine career and family?

— Gloria Steinem

Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it.

— Dale Carnegie

Don't go to college, unless to get knowledge.

— Satchel Paige

History is at once freedom and necessity.

— Antonio Gramsci

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

— Elayne Boosler

Swipe from the best, then adapt.

— Tom Peters

God is the one who chooses our rulers

— Katherine Harris

You cannot stand anywhere in the universe that is outside of yourself.

— Deepak Chopra

What is it like to be a bat? What is it like for a bat to be a bat?

— Thomas Nagel

Faith leads us beyond ourselves. It leads us directly to God.

— Pope John Paul II

That moment when someone says Name a good song and you forget all the songs that were ever made

— Anonymous

Nerd style of flirting: I wish I could select all your clothes and press delete

— Anonymous

My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration.

— Mike Myers

Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating.

— Hussein Nishah

I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill.

— Nikhil Saluja

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another…

— Hussein Nishah

“I want to rip the rest of those buttons open and climb him like a monkey in a banana tree. Oh God,…

— Heather M. Orgeron

I have the will to do and dare...but my body doesn't agree. Ah well, at least no one can say that I…

— Vatsal Agrawal

I've never been in love with Marcello [Mastroianni]. I wasn't even attracted to him physically. I admired him. I followed him and…

— Giovanna Cau

In the '80s, it was difficult and frustrating to appear in the theater and TV again, even though I had some successful…

— David Cassidy

Age has extremely little to do with anything that matters. The difference between one age and other is, as a rule, enormously…

— Anonymous

It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny…

— Anonymous

Dear ugly people, if you ever feel that you hate your life, don't worry, you are not alone. I hate your life…

— Green Monk

Where there is an unknowable, there is a promise.

— Thornton Wilder

The better we get, the better we want to be.

— Gay Hendricks

Curation comes up when search stops working,

— Clay Shirky

If you find something that works double down on it

— Steve Scott

What one fool can do another can.

— Silvanus P. Thompson

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

— Anonymous

I'm just a quirky, funny dude.

— Jimmy O. Yang

“You never know what funny can do.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

God cannot bless who you pretend to be

— Steven Furtick

Good for some may not be the same for others.

— Charles Manson

My friend falls, I laugh...My phone falls, I panic.

— Ritu Ghatourey

“I was feeling the height of bitchiness.”

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

Grab life by the balls and squeeze.

— Mike Dirnt

I know that Marianne Williamson cannot be bought

— Jane Lynch

God reveals Himself through surprises.

— Pope Francis

Have you had a kindness shown? Pass it on.

— Henry Burton