He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“There's a funny thing about everything, even if you have to make it up!” — Jessica Jo Ann Thometz Copy Share Image
Looks like Facebook and myspace got divorced but Facebook got the all the kids :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. — Mickey Rooney Copy Share Image
Biggest worry after going to bed every night: Should I go pee right now, or wait until tomorrow morning? — ARINDAM SEN Copy Share Image
I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
To me, 'X Factor' is like Vegas. Fake, twisted, but kind of wonderful. Maybe I'm sick, but I find the whole thing… — Charli XCX Copy Share Image
“If all of your friends are morons is it a felony, a misdemeanor or an act of God if you blow their… — Bret Easton Ellis Copy Share Image
I guess the more serious you play something, if the context is funny, then it will be funny and it doesn't really… — Jesse Eisenberg Copy Share Image
I got a wrestling ring downstairs in my basement. We did this thing where we were running the ropes and Billy Gunn… — Darby Allin Copy Share Image
I'm half Jewish, I'm half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one… — Lenny Kravitz Copy Share Image
Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Funny Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive?. . . . — Shy Boy Copy Share Image
She left Virgin Islands when she heard me saying,'here I cum' she got scared and splashed some water on my eye but… — Simon Quperlier Copy Share Image
