Funny Quotes · Page 29

Golf is a funny game.

— Shane Lowry

Beauty is embarrassing.

— Wayne White

They stayed away in droves.

— Samuel Goldwyn

... who stole x-mas

— Maher

And smile, smile, smile.

— George Henry Powell

“How funny are dogs?”

— John Marsden

Love is really funny:)

— Anonymous

Little Mix are hilarious.

— Nicola Roberts

I get out, I get out of all your boxes.

— Lauryn Hill

Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky.

— John Cleese

Destroy or be destroyed! I just love that way of life!

— Mike Tyson

There can be no poetry after Auschwitz.

— Theodor Adorno

Do you wanna see something swell?

— Jon Lovitz

My hovercraft is full of eels.

— John Cleese

Who am I, then, if my memory is impaired?

— Mira Bartok

We are not the end of the gospel; God is.

— David Platt

Question: have you had a bf befor? Answer: Yepp and I currently have one

— Anonymous

I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday and 4% Friday.

— Anonymous

Shout out to all the broke girls who rock fake brand/designer names. You are not alone, keep doing you.

— Raghib Clitso

I really need a day where I can just lay in bed and not have to worry about a thing!

— Mee

I wanted to do work that elevated. Otherwise, it's cheap funny. It's dirty funny. It's degrading funny.

— Monica Horan

It is one thing to know a truth, and another thing to know it by unction.

— William Gurnall

If you had the power to destroy the world, would you do so?

— Bertrand Russell

I do know this: When somebody has to look great on the screen, that's the death of funny.

— Peter Farrelly

Nature, it appears, has been rather more bountiful to Paul's body and purse than to his intellect; above the ears, speaking bluntly,…

— S. J. Perelman

Payday is only the illusion of having money for a couple of hours. Then it's payday for everyone I owe money to.

— Nishan Panwar

“To say my day was not going well, would be like saying the French Revolution had been a bit troublesome for Marie…

— Nichole Chase

I think you can go from being not very funny to working really hard for 10 years and figuring out how to…

— Amy Schumer

Women are under-represented in TV comedy for a variety of reasons, the hackneyed 'fear that women aren't funny' being one of them.

— Victoria Coren Mitchell

Relaxing at home in his 55th-floor condominium before a game, Sammy Sosa is the same as at the ball park: focused but…

— Bill Dedman

“I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to…

— E.A. Bucchianeri

We had 1 book, the phone book, I've read it, it wasn't a great read, lots of characters, and on the end…

— Stephen K. Amos

Either I act or I die.

— Al Pacino

I'd always loved radio.

— Harry Shearer

You can't lose. Go, go, go!

— Seth Godin

We have our own brains.

— Pervez Musharraf

I have a funny name.

— Pia Zadora

We see only what we know.

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

U.S.P.A wearing ass niggas

— Deon Crockett Jr

It is there all the time.

— Anna Freud